Redscream

I'm so numb, The pain of being, Has cast me down, No longer seeing, How life used to be. It's a deathly chilling, Ice cold feeling, I hate living, I hate breathing. You realise so little, You misunderstand a lot, You don't know how to help me, When you don't know the pain I've got. This dark and evil presence, That seems to want me dead, I can't control it, I don't know what to do instead. I hate this existence, Selfish is what you said, It annoys me that you think, It's all inside my head. I know that you worry, I know that you care, But how I really feel, I'm not sure that you're aware. You said it would get better,

Alone I need to fight this on my own I want to be alone I know people out there, Will always care, But i want to be alone. Solitude thats what i seek A time when i can think i wish they would stay away from me but they cant see i want to be alone Peace to stop all conflict in my head the thoughts pulling me apart i want silence to free my mind within before i let the others in i want to be alone Direction i need to find a way to go im lost upon this darkened road i need a path to win this fight i want the others out of sight i want to be alone Time i need another chance to work this out alright

im sorry for being selfish and unaware, im sorry for acting as if i dont care. im sorry for the way i behave, im sorry for the anger that comes in a wave. im sorry for the changes i me, im sorry that i dont help, cant you see? im sorry you hate what ive become, im sorry you lost me when you thought you had won. im sorry i pity myself so much, im sorry that i cant be your crutch. im sorry ive lost you, drifted away, im sorry that i ruined the start of your day. im sorry for the pain, the deceit and the lies, im sorry that our understanding shrivels and dies. im sorry but i know that the love is still there, im sor

sweet innocence is what i knew what parents said was always true i didnt doubt the love was there i missed the sorrow and despair blissful ignorance is what i had i thought my mum loved my dad my mind has blanked the half-crazed rage i only remember the better days i never knew i lived a lie until the love began to die the arguments i heard at night i didnt understand their fight then the parting finally came a man in a suit who asked my name and made me choose between my mum and dad my heart told me who but then i felt so bad how could i love one more than the other? i adore my dad but not as much as my mother the answers t

sweet fire cuts like ice across the skin bleeds away the cares bleeds away the sorrows bleeds away the pain like an old frend it holds you up so you dont care so you dont feel so you dont hurt you are nothing you are noone you just bleed you just live you just exist. nothing matters there is no point hate life hate love hate the world

Shivering from the cold, In the frozen night, Trembling from the exhaustion, Of this mind-warped fight, Quivering from the fear, As dark replaces light, Shaking from the pain Chest squeezed tight, Tremors from the effort, Try as I might, Quaking with sorrow, As I feel the metal bite, Still as I bleed, And fade from sight.

Yesterday, We claimed we would never part, We told everything there was to tell, An odd friendship perhaps, But one I thought was true. Yesterday, I understood it all, Now I know I never will, The more you explain, The more I realise - I don't know. Yesterday, We were the same, But the common ground slipped away, Now I know somethings changed, An awkward rift has grown. Yesterday, You held me up, you cared, You pulled me through, Now you seem to have changed your mind, You're pushing me away. Yesterday, Seems so long ago, I don't know anything now, Something has come between us, What did I do to lose you? Today, You

The days were getting brighter, the darkness fell away, Little did I know, That this was here to stay. I thought I could control it, I thought I knew the way I still haven't solved this, It's back again today I tried to fight it, I knew I could not win There seems no other answer, I have to give in. The drops run warm and bright, These cuts will never heal, The scars will last for ever, A nightmare thats all too real.

I never chose to live this life, But this is what I am, Something stirs in the dark, Floating shadow, A hand around my heart, Frozen fingers, Waiting for this to start, Stalking closer, Fired, a poison dart, Sapping strength, Coursing through my veins, Spreading fear, Numbing my senses, Obscuring my thoughts, Filling my head, Ensnaring my mind, Tearing me apart. I don't know whats happening, Lost myself to this, Through the day it's haunting me - no escape at night, Unknown phantom, Confused in this world of black and white, Myriad of emotion, Wandering in a land of dark and light, Winding road, Misplaced happiness in

I know that you're walking on the edge, In a place where black rain falls, I've seen your many faces, But I haven't seen them all, As you walk along the cliff top, Wait and rest awhile, Think on those who know you, As you climb the next stile, Pause for breath in walking, Look just stand and stare, Gaze at all around you, Is it true that you don't care? Admire the world in passing, The sea pinks all in bloom, The puffins in their burrows, Has this come to soon? You come to the perfect place, But I am already standing there, Balancing on the brink, The sea breeze in my hair, Not a word you say to me, Because all the words

A cigarette or two with panthers in the room, summer's gone but sunlight's due, soon you say- tomorrow, or was that yesterday?  Blades of grass flicker with blue streaks and shimmer down; a stream nearby, she says, follow the water, the sound of the birds, past a stranger's grave; a slave to circumstance.  Never mind.  We leave that place as the sky just melts, our metaphorical belts come loose and you remember that noose, makeshift, as they tend to be one for you and one for me.   Somehow though, I've noticed change, the sun gets brighter, lighter, the weight exchanged for ostrich feathers- equal in force yet calming too, exactly

Shards of glass in the slithering verse, to have and to hold, through better or worse An end like yours, white dress and black hurse The rain came down that night. They put you away, for eight or nine days, there by choice but 'here you must stay' learn the rules quick and try not to sway, win by avoiding the fight. And as time went on I knew you were gone, scratched in pencil, an image foregone, a bird, some water and some crippled swan, herein started the spite. Despair, despair, don't dare to care, amnestics, hypnotics, and fair is fair, all the drugs in the world won't get you there, the gas just won't ignite.

With a sad slow progression At your funeral procession You've graduated from life's lesson And fallen to your transgressions Your bedroom filled with your obsession All your vanity's possessions - The mirrors hung from every wall You said you saw yourself hung there too The mirrors predicted this for you You obsessed before the reflection's pew And these candles, they grow dark Like walks at midnight in the park Where your dreams all fell apart Fell and shattered your poor heart But you can't finish if you don't start You didn't see yourself in the dark - Someone else reflected back at you I showed every scar I had to you I ne

I was going to write something good today (as if good was the best way to describe the results) Yet somewhere in the eternity of 20 second moments between idea and page while i waited for the internet to load (15 adverts, 4 'errors loading' and 3.52 column inches of usable blank word box space) it slipped away That is the idea did Other things slipped too of course The smile, the moment and the computer (worringly close to the floor before I caught the thing) The Concrete Floor (not really, the floor being more of the large and rug filled variety, But it sounds better doesnt it? The hard surface compared with the relative luxury o

Down in one (and a penny for your thoughts), These screams withheld, and reason gone to waste, Blood flows forth, from a less auspicious fruit, The vile to your lips once more, and don't forget The taste of truth (when I Sleep it's dreaming with me), Ticking clock, and a penny for our time , Words uncoil from a gin soaked mind, Wiped away the memories, but can't forget the climb These screams withheld (and reason gone to waste), Excuses for not flying, as with tattered wings I fall, Wind chips words, from a less than focused soul, Flash silver to the vein again for those who will not Call me weak (like you have the only

Does it make it ok To say everything you can To let it all off your chest To reach out Grab the air And hold on so tight That when you start to scream Muffled by the duvet And when you punch And when you hit And when you harm The ground beneath you And the walls around you The people beside you And then the thoughts in your mind That everything will be ok Once everything has been done Once everything has been said And that the only thing keeping you back Is that possible feeling of what-if? And the chance it'll fall And hit you in the face You idiot You stupid stupid person What's the point in telling the truth When